Halloween 2013

We have started a tradition of dinner at Al and Lori's on Halloween with JJ and Jana and kids and then JJ's dad and stepmom. We eat, let the kids pass out candy at the door and then go do some trick or treating of our own.

This year Porter was Captain America and Maggie was a Beaver cheerleader. They had a lot of fun and loved seeing their buckets fill up with candy.

Mommy heart strings

So I feel like I am a fairly flexible person. Change never really intimidated me. I'm okay with most things and try to roll with the punches.

We have made two changes recently in our family and they somehow both seemed pretty significant and happened around the same time. My mommy heart is still working on adjusting.

First change: AJ and I have been making strides in communicating and attacking our finances and debt. Ever since we had kids and my full time income switched to part time, we have struggled. Not in the not enough money sense but more in the controlling our spending and then finding we don't have enough money.

So after we had our first child I switched from full time to 3 days a week. Well about nine months ago I felt the pull to cut back and I did back to 2 days. We had an amazing summer as a family and lots of outings with Jana and her kids. And then school started up again and we had some changes again with extra income and bills and we decided it would be best to add that third day back.

I love where I work. I love my boss and I love my schedule and knowing when I go home, I take nothing from work with me. And the kids are happy with their Nammie and don't miss me! Haha! So I can't complain but my mommy heart misses my kids on Tuesday so this change threw me for a little loop.

Second change: the preschool that Porter is in is a dual language program and fairly new. So last year he went 3 days a week and had an AMAZING teacher. I just couldn't fathom him being gone from home more than 3 days a week and decided to keep him with the same teacher we loved and be in the same class again.

Well, after a month and various things we decided to move him to the five day a week class. It is the right thing to do and when he goes to Kindergarten next year, he will be all day, so this is a good next step and transition.

So this morning, I go and take him, meet his new teacher, help him hang up his jacket and find a buddy to sit by and I got a lump in my throat and watery eyes and I am glad the teacher didn't ask me any questions!!

Porter was all smiles and happy to be with his friends from last year and his three other classmates moved over from his 3 day a week class with him, so it will be good. But my mommy heart strings were pulled and I walked out and went to work with lots of deep breaths.

Change. It's not always bad, but it still doesn't make it emotionally easy. I'll get there. Just need a little time.

Where have I been?

I feel like my absence from blogging needed an explanation. Probably doesn't but here is the short of it. The last I blogged was November a year ago. The holiday season is always busy and then January we went to Disneyland. Upon returning home from vacation, I started having a side stomach pain. 4 doctors later, multiple tests and diets and trying this or that and still no answers. It is unexplained.

So I have been a bit preoccupied and have traveled quite the road of pain and testing and fear and worries and doubts and depression since January. All my tests keep coming back that they can't find anything and all signs point to I'm healthy with a pain. Which apparently is pretty normal to those who have had chronic pain. So I'm dealing and still praying for healing but that's a nutshell of my journey since January. Chronic pain while still working, raising a 2 and 4 year old and just keeping up with life in general and blogging take a wayside place. But I'm back for now. Who knows how long. ;)

Some days...

You just need a soft, warm fleece and the world seems alright.

Every fall when we switch to Daylight Savings time, I realize just how cold it is. Less sunlight and usually rain and I just want to snuggle deep in my bed.

Well, I have a fleece that I pull out and wear in times like this and it warms me right up. For many reasons.

January 2011 Maggie was born and rushed to the NICU. I was transferred to her hospital as well but checked out after two days and she still was looking at a week plus stay. So each night we had to say goodnight and go sleep and be away from her. How I ever did this, I'm not sure. I only slept because of sheer exhaustion.

One of the many things my mother in law did for me this week was ask if I needed anything from home, clothes, make up, whatever. As I looked down at my post partum body and was bummed to still look pregnant and none of the clothes I packed seemed adequate to boost my mood, I asked for a new pink sweatshirt. Somehow the color pink made me feel connected to my baby girl in the NICU.

The next day Lori arrived with two pink clothing items: a pink hoodie and a pink fleece. It was a gift from heaven. In my mind, I was overwhelmed by Maggie's health and future, our van had broken down and I could only imagine the doctor and hospital bills so new clothes weren't something I knew I could rightfully spend money on. So the two pink items were a blessing. I wore them everyday and felt like a brand new person.

I still have both items today and when I wear them, I marvel at where God has brought Maggie and us. His promises are sure and never failing. His love knows no depth or boundaries. His arms never tire of holding us. He has got our back. 

So when I'm feeling cold, down or just need a good reminder, I pull out my pink fleece and the world seems right for a bit.

I'm back

It's November which is blogging month. I'm back and I have been thinking about blogging again. They say it takes 21 days to make a habit. Well, here I go with trying to make a habit.

I think I'll post just most pictures and maybe a few stories.

Porter played 3 & 4 year old indoor soccer this fall with his cousin Finn on the same team. Porter loved it and was ready to play anytime his coach called him in. It was fun to watch.