Mondays

Porter headed back to school today after his Thanksgiving break and Maggie and I had the morning to hang out. My house was a disaster and I had errands to run and food to buy but instead we played. We met Aunt Jana, Finn, Lauren, Cooper and Baxter at the park and went on the swings. It was a bit cold but fun to see everyone.

Then we headed to the Caurosel and rode on that and with Jana and Finn. And then headed over to Target and Learning Palace for popcorn and playing with toys. It was such a nice morning with just my girl.

Now I gotta unpack, make dinner and start decorating my house for Christmas. The busy season has begun!

Snow

On our way home from Sunriver, where we spent Thanksgiving with my family, we stopped at Hoodoo and played in the snow. It was cold but blue sky and the kids loved it. We forgot Porter's gloves but he wore mine and still had fun!

Perpetual cycles

Life is one giant perpetual cycle full of lots of other cycles. Hurry up to wait. Steady eddy. The early bird gets the worm. Our planet is spinning while we live and breath, all the while our heads our literally spinning.

But what I get caught up in is the drive and the things we do for good reason. All make sense but then in the huge scheme of things, what does it really matter. For example: I am walking across the street and it starts raining so I decide to run to get out of the rain and allow the car waiting for me to cross sooner. But does my jogging five feet really make a difference in their day and schedule? Does it really hasten me out of the rain quicker? I ran faster through the raindrops, so I feel I am just as wet as if I walked. Why can't I just enjoy my moment and not be affected by other's haste?

Perpetual cycles. The dishes get dirty. The dishes get clean to then be dirty again. We create garbage and each week have to pull it out to the street to be disposed of. I tell my kids to eat faster, run to bed or quick, get in their carseats (we know this never will happen but we say it anyways). And yet, what is the hurry? Hurry up to wait. Life only slows down when we let it.

Planning each minute. Calculating each experience. Creating each moment. This doesn't allow for slowness. This doesn't allow for relaxed enjoyment. As I enter into the Thanksgiving and Christmas season, here on November 13th, I am feeling overwhelmed and I don't want too.

I want to be intentional. I want to savor my kids at 1 and 3 and the holidays through their eyes. I want them to enjoy the moments and feel free as a bird and as childlike as possible. I don't want them to feel the hustle bustle we as adults create.

I want to break some perpetual cycles. I want to slow down, contemplate and enjoy. Family, friends, newness, fondness, traditions and lots of laughter.

Deep breath in 1-2-3. And now exhale.

I am a Pinterest junkie

Yep, I am a by product of Pinterest. All my latest crafts, recipes and fun projects are off of Pinterest. But the thing I like is all the super simple ideas I find. Like putting Christmas lights in the dishwasher box. The kids loved it!

New recipes are super convincing if a photo is involved. Then I look at the ingredients and it looks easy-medium difficulty and I am sold.

Pinterest is my google. It is a verb to me.

Pinterest it.

Sick babies

Porter woke up at 4am saying he hurt. I felt his forehead and it was warm. Took him potty and the brought him to our bed where he slept till 7am. He had a slight chesty cough so I made the call to keep him home from school. Then after my shower, I got our baby thermometer and his temp was 100.3. Poor thing.

Maggie slept pretty good but woke up with a crusty nose.

For these reasons, I love summer time all the more. I keep reminding myself they are building immunities but it is hard to see your vibrant active kids so mellow. Porter was a champ today though and hung out with Nammie and Maggie while I worked.

Nothing phases Maggie! She marches on.

We let Porter watch a movie tonight and he fell asleep to the point of snoring. He is exhausted.

Here is hoping for a good nights sleep and all are feeling better tomorrow.

Hard parts of parenting, for me

As my kids have gotten older and the baby phases are wearing off and I realize, I have two kids, there are things I am coming to terms with in this new stage of parenting that are hard for me.

Brutally honest. My blog. No judging allowed.

I struggle with being creative and healthy and on-top of meals for my kids. It is easier to give them cereal in the morning because I know they will eat it versus making them eggs and toast which ends up on the floor. Mac n cheese is SUPER easy and a crowd pleaser. I am hoping this is a phase and their picky ways don't stay, but feeding them 3 meals and snacks is hard some days.

I struggle with taking pictures and recording cute phrases they say. In my head I aspire to these things. I think I should do this or that when in fact it just isn't me.

I always want a few more minutes of sleep whether they wake up at 6am or 8am. Whether their nap was a hour long or 3 hours long. I do know my energy levels have gotten better as they have gotten older but I still feel like a few more minutes would be good. It is so sad because as you get older, your body takes less sleep and so as your kids start to sleep in, you start waking up earlier. Oh to be a teenager again and sleep till noon!

I struggle with getting out of the house with my 2 kids. I struggled when I had 1! It just feels easier to stay home.

These are all things that don't make me a bad parent. They make me real. I find other things easier that might be challenging to someone else. But we were all created to be individuals and so no comparing but that doesn't mean I don't struggle.

I hope and pray these are phases and in a year my struggles will be different. That's the beauty of evolving as a parent. Plus, where some of my weakness lie, AJ has some major strengths that helps complete the parenting circle.

I love my kids. I love my husband and I love being a mom. Things that at age 1 1/2 and 3 1/2 that I didn't know I would ever feel.

Posterity sake.

Things I did today:

Carved a pumpkin-yep, it's after Halloween but Porter wanted too and then decided the pumpkin smelled bad so I ended up carving it myself.

Washed everyone's bedding. It was like spring cleaning!

Vacuumed the basement. There were a lot of dust bunnies!

Did 3 other loads of laundry.

Ironed the bedskirt for Porter's bed, finally.

Made muffins for breakfast and French toast for dinner. We like breakfast!

Played, colored, and hung out with my kids.

Unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher today.

Gave the kids a bath!

Whew! AJ worked outside and took a bunch of junk to the dump. It was so nice to have a dry day on the weekend to get lots accomplished. Not a typical November day but I was very grateful for it!

I <3 Running

Never in a million years would I have ever guessed that post having my babies, I would have said that, but it is true.

I have been lucky enough to have a treadmill and can run after the kids go to bed. Plus, I have had lots of people motivating me along the way. AJ encouraged me to get in to shape by booking a 5 day 43 mile backpacking trip to Glacier. I lost 30 pounds and got in to shape so I could carry my 30+ pound backpack for those 5 days.

Then my sister is an avid runner always inspires me with all the races she has done.

And then another inspiring friend, Christi, convinced me to sign up for the Warrior Dash and go deep in gooey mud through a 5K course with her.

My sister in law, Jana, is always asking me to run in 5K's with her and we have done so many together!

Well, my bucket list included a marathon, but that requires SO much training I thought I might start with a half and asked my brother in law JJ if he was interested. He has lost 80+ pounds and runs on a very consistent basis and he said yes! So we signed up and ran 13.2 miles one rainy, cloudy and partially sunny Sunday morning.

Here's my lesson: don't think you can run that far without training. I was fine cardio wise but I could barely walk for about 3 days after. It was brutal.

Needless to say, a marathon is no longer on my bucket list. But more races are!

JJ wants to do another half in May it June and I suggested we do a 15K in March. Shamrock Run 15K, here we come!

Remote Controller

Yes, I am a parent who does bribes. Let's just get that out of the way.

Porter started preschool this fall. He is in a dual language immersion program three days a week. His teacher is amazing, sweet and pretty much awesome! Porter was having a little separation anxiety and was making progress but would still get upset pretty much every morning when I would drop him off. He had his blanket to help console and would then end up fine and having a great time by the end of the morning.

In my head I knew he wouldn't cry forever but it just seemed to be getting a bit more intense each day and he was even crying when I left him in his classroom at church which he hadn't done all last year!

I knew Porter had been asking for a remote control helicopter and Amazon sells a pretty fun little one for $19. So I told Porter if he was able to go 3 days of school with out crying, I would get him that helicopter. I didn't know if he would do it, but he did awesome and really took it all in stride. He really does love school and his teacher and would come home excited to go back.

So after three days plus the bonus of not crying when I dropped him off at his class at church, he was rewarded with the helicopter.

Now, let's all remember, he is three and a half. He has some major skills flying this helicopter. He is quite the pilot.

And then he took it to the next level. He could land and take off on other people's hands. And being the little crazy boy he was, went one more level. He puts the remote in one hand and flies it and the catches the helicopter in his other. Truly impressive! The kid is amazing in my opinion. And he does want to be a rescue pilot when he grows up!

Halloween 2012

Porter is in love with all things firefighter- the uniform, the truck, the siren, the station and mainly the fireman pole! So he choose the firefighting outfit.

Maggie is still too young to fully grasp it and will do whatever Porter is doing, so I pulled out Porter's first costume, garden gnome and stuck it in Maggie and she was cute.

Porter had a great night and can't believe how much candy he got. He continually asks me if I have ever seen so much candy ever?! He's cute!

So then today, after my Bible study this morning, I take the kids to pizza for lunch with a few other friends and their kids. Maggie and I go up to the counter to get our pizza and the last asks Maggie is she went out last night trick or treating? Maggie shakes her head yes and then she asks, "We're you a kitty or a princess or a fairy?" as if that is all a little girl could be.

My mommy defenses went up. I know it is an innocent question. AJ and I are trying so hard to raise our son and daughter to feel amazing in who they are, not in what they do or how they look. They are just amazing because they are Porter and Maggie.

Anyways, so my response to this very innocent but felt assuming question was, "No, she was a garden gnome." The lady didn't know how to respond. It was priceless. And then to justify it all, I said, "the cutest garden gnome ever." I didn't have to, but I felt like I had too.

It was just a good reminder to me, again, no matter what my kids do or look or say or are, I love them-no matter what. They don't have to be anything because they already are Porter and Maggie.

Anyways, here are the kids:

Help!

Okay, total vent rant blog post but I am that totally annoyed homeowner today. We have a bazillion cats in our neighborhood and the owners let them be mostly outside cats and they have taken to pooping in our yard and in our bark dust! It is grossing me out and making me very angry and hate cats-all cats, even if your cat didn't poop in my yard, I hate it.

But that isn't who I am. I love animals, we had cats growing up and I loved them. We have a dog and she poops and I still love her, I just don't let her run around and poop in other's yards.

So what do I do? Porter loves cars and he hears my disdain toward them and I don't want him to hate cats but he just might because it frustrates me so much. Today, I full on stepped in the poop. YUCK!!!!!

I am trying to have love and patience with all my neighbors and the plethora of cars around, but why are they pooping in my yard! Go away.

Ok. I really don't like outdoor cats. End rant.

and's, if's or but's

Do you ever feel like your life is good but...

Do you wish if this happened...

Do you ever think and if we had this...

I do. I think this all the time but the truth be told, we have a lot. For instance: I really want a new laptop. I don't have any kind of system in place to store photos, so our 2 nice cameras go unused. And so instead of making what I have work, info nothing and think about what I want or need. If only I had this and that, then...

I am trying to learn to live within our means. Be thankful for what God HAS provided and make the most of my current resources. It always feels good to make a meal with a bunch of odds and ends in the freezer, fridge and pantry!

When I look around at all we have and all I don't use, I can't even begin to rationalize anything new. Yes, my kid's feet grow, so new shoes are on the list, but they are so dang expensive for anything remotely cute, I think I will check the consignment shops first. But shoes are a necessity for the kids. Their feet are still growing! My sister lucks out with me and having kids first as her kids will get our hand me downs!

We just bought a new treadmill, yep, we too have a way to spend our money. I figure this is an investment in our health as AJ and I both use it. Now my friend is teaching a class at the local YMCA and I want to join, just so I can go to her class with the rest of my friends. I feel ungrateful and undeserving of my treadmill now. What is wrong with me??

Our society shows us things that are bigger and better. Last years boots aren't good enough for this year. Boot cut jeans are no longer cool and you must have skinny jeans. Froyo is so in but so ridiculously expensive compared to buying a half gallon at the store. We want it now and how we want it and the experience, so we fork over our dollars.

Am I ranting?

No, just processing. I don't have a solution. Just getting my wheels in my head turning. Every night when I pray with my kids, I thank God for the blessings He gives us. I am trying to really mean that and be grateful for all things, big and small, new and used,last season and 5 seasons ago.

I am not perfect. I made poor money choices. I want more. I am a consumer. But I do know:

I am blessed. My family is blessed.

I'm gonna try to change my thoughts to:

My life is good.

This happened to me and it was amazing.

We have SO much!

(I know this is a random post after not posting from forever ago, but just on my mind tonight.)

:)

Summer 2012 List

Our summer started yesterday as AJ worked on Monday. Today is the official 1st day of summer, so what better way to celebrate than by BBQ'ing hotdogs and making a summer to do list.

Porter helped and I added a few and so did AJ and Maggie, well she is along for the ride this year. It does make things a little easier now that she can walk!

Fun times ahead, summa-summa time!

It's official- for posterity's sake.

Maggie started up and walking on Wednesday, June 13th, just a few days before her 17th month. She can get up in the middle of the floor and totters along. I need to catch a video of it. She is discovering her new independence and is happier not to be scraping up her knees and legs. The tops of her feet were all scraped up too.

So, she started crawling at 11 months and walking at 17.

Porter started crawling at 8 and walking at 14.

Hmmm, what was I so worried about Maggie. She just needed to crawl for 6 months like Porter did! :) Silly kids!

And we did it again!

5K number three completed today. I ran with Christi and Jana and Amanda. Amanda's husband and JJ ran the 10K and us girls did the 5K. Beautiful park and gorgeous weather meant for an amazing run.

Despite a technical difficulty of a not very well marked turn, I ended up running 4 miles versus 3.2 but it felt good.

Maybe next time I will do a 10K!

Tell story of my day.

A few months back every night I would lay in bed with Porter and we would talk about his day. What he did. Who he saw. Where he went. What he ate. And sometimes I ask him the questions to fill in the story on the days I work and he hangs out with Nammie. I (with the help of pictures Lori would post on Facebook) could get pretty close but he would fill in the really cool or important stuff. It was such a sweet time. I still lay in bed with him every night but we have transitioned to stories of firefighters. And how they rescue people in fires, car accidents and from the water. He really had me on my toes when he asked for a story of space firefighters! What?! Is there even such a thing. I attempted it once but have since declined due to lack of creativity in my head.

Anyways...on to the point of my blog.

Today, let me tell you story of our day. It was a day that you feel like you have conquered the world when you crawl in to bed.

Hold on, here.we.go.

My alarm went off at 6:30 and Porter promptly woke up shortly thereafter. He came to our bed to watch TV while AJ headed off to shower and I made banana muffins for breakfast. AJ then made eggs for breakfast, we ate, got the kids dressed and headed out the door to Mento Brown park.

I was meeting some BFF's for a 5K Run for Compassion and JJ was doing the 10K and AJ had brought his bike and trailer to ride around with the kids. The weather was amazing and we lined up for the race. Off we went, Jana was pushing Finn in the stroller and our friend Christi was running along with Amanda and her two kids in her stroller. We all keep together for a little bit then I fell into my own groove. I was in the zone and wanting to make good time. So off I went and on the poorly marked course missed a turn and ended up running my own course and about 4 miles, versus 3.2. Oh well, it felt good and I still had a good time for me, so I tried to move on with my frustration of getting off course due to poor markings!!

We all finished, had some apples and bananas and headed off to have brunch with the Avison's and the Terpening's and ended up at Venti's. They have a kid area so they could play and we all have super yummy food and then it was time to head home.

Nap time!! We ran out to AJ's parents to pick up a hedge trimmer so AJ could tackle some trees in our yard and by the time we got home, porter went right to bed but Maggie put up a fight as she had fallen asleep in the car. I still left her in her crib for a hour and she got quiet for a bit but I never felt she really fell asleep. Well, tonight I discovered what she was occupying herself with. She was pulling her vinyl decals off the wall and basically ruined the bottom half of them. I knew it would happen at some point right?

Anyways, at 3 Porter woke up so we got them both up and put swimsuits on and headed outside to play in the pool. AJ put it right at the end of our play structure slide and both of the loved sliding in to the water. Maggie would squeal and laugh and Porter wanted me to watch him each time. We invited Finn over and he joined in for a little before they headed off to church. Jana and JJ took Porter with them and AJ and I and Maggie stayed home and he continued to trim the trees.

Our garden raised beds in the back have been struggling because all the trees are huge and giving too much shade. So AJ cut and trimmed and whacked them back. Our yard looks bigger and more open. Let's hope the garden gets more sun now!

I fed Maggie dinner and then she sang and played for a little but was pretty tired from her short nap so I put her down at 6:45! Shortly thereafter, Jana, JJ, Finn and Porter arrive back at our house and Lori and Al show up with pizza. We sit on our patio and eat dinner and play for a bit then they all head home and it is time for P to get to bed.

We come inside and my house looks like a tornado touched down in the living room, dining room and kitchen. I haven't done any dishes all day. The bags are still full of stuff from places we have gone, the dishwasher is full of clean dishes and I have a pile of swimsuits and towels that need to be washed after our day outside. Whew. Where to start?

I pick up everything except the kitchen while AJ gets P ready for bed so that after I tell him his story, I can go outside to help AJ pick up limbs and yard debris. P gets to bed and I head outside with AJ and we work for about 45 minutes picking up limbs, yard debris and raking. Our yard looks amazingly better now!

Then we head inside and I unload the clean dishes, reload the dirty dishes and start the dishwasher again and head downstairs to fold the load of clean clothes and transfer the other load AJ started. Does it ever end?

I finally sit down on my bed to rest my feet, write my blog post and it is 10pm. What a day, folks. What a day.

Wouldn't change anything. I love my family. I love running and being outside. I love my amazing friends. I love productive Saturdays and I love seeing transformation in our yard.

We are blessed. Life is good.

We did it again!

It has been a year since the four of us (Christi K., Christy R., Jana and myself) did the Starlight Run. We added a new team member, Sarah Case, a good friend of all of ours who lives in Portland and just had a baby in January.

It is a fun girls night out and we get to eat dinner together, run and watch some of the parade and just hang out. We had a blast!

Here is a bit of history. Sarah and I ran this race together in June of 2003. She had just moved to Portland and I was getting married in a month and we loved running, so we signed up for it. Fast forward to June 2011 and I ran it after having a baby 5 months prior and it was hard, but my teammates were encouraging and we finished in 48 minutes. I was hoping for 45; close enough.

My goal this year was to beat last years time and run the whole way. We walked a little bit last year.

2012- Sarah joined us and she just had a baby 5 months ago and we all ran the whole thing, even up the last hill which is pure torture and finished in 36 minutes! Goal accomplished!

Everyone rocked it! We dressed up in our 80's attire as the theme was Rock 'N Roll and had a great time.

Now, what should our goal for next year be? Hmmm....

(Photo credit: Christi Kurtz)

We did it!

Jana loves to sign up for 5K's and then she invites us to do them with her. This weekend we said yes to run in the Mama Baby Haiti fundraiser 5K. JJ, Jana, AJ and I all wanted to run, so we asked 'Nammie and Doopa' if they wanted to walk it with the kids in strollers and they graciously accepted.

Let me give you a little history. Last year, I had Maggie in January and Jana wanted to run the Starlight Run in June. I said yes but didn't really work at getting in shape. But I am not one to back down and we ran/walked the race in 48 minutes. My sister could have ran circles around me, but she was a gracious and encouraging cheerleader.

Fast forward to this year and we are all signed up for the Starlight Run again and I have said my goal was to beat our time last year and I would love it if we did it in 30 minutes which is obtainable but the last mile of this run is uphill, so I will be okay if we run the whole thing and in less than last year.

Anyways, back to today. Jana and I ran together and kept a good pace and ran the whole time. It was Jana's first 5K of running the whole time! No walking. And we rocked it! Well, rocked it for us. 33 minutes and we were the first girls to finish! Okay, okay, there was maybe 15 people who ran or walked it but still, it felt good.

Bring on the Starlight Run!!

It has been a week

My title is in the sense of rough week, not in the sense of it's been a week since I posted. Just to clarify.

So the week has had ups. The week had lows but in the end and about ready to start my next week, I am happy. My "Monday" at work starts on Tuesday so my week goes from Tuesday to Monday.

Here are some highlights:

Porter has been trying so hard to get this 'big boy' stuff down. He is in the throws of potty training and is doing very well. Me, on the other hand, didn't realize that at every place we stopped, he would want to check out the bathroom! It isn't a bad thing as he has had dry diapers during the day and dry undies during the day when he wears them. We are getting closer to the end goal and it is actually a little bittersweet. He really will be a 'big boy' then.

I cut Porter's hair tonight and now he suddenly looks like a preschooler. Good thing he is signed up for preschool in the fall. Oh, another sign he isn't a baby anymore.

Friday while at work, AJ texts me and asks me if I want a date night. Um, yes!! He took care of the details and by 6:00 we were driving away, kid free with no agenda! We didn't even know where we were going to eat! We ended up having an amazing time and had some quiet unwinding moments at dinner. It was bliss not having to make sure the kids were being fed and Porter had attention and Maggie wasn't throwing food. Bliss. We ended the night with a movie and felt like the adults we are. I love date night babysitting swaps!

AJ took Porter to the Ag Fest here is Salem. They had a great time doing the manly man thing. And I took Maggie clothes shopping for her. Just what girls are suppose to do!

Porter and I followed a hot air balloon that was in our neighborhood and ended up seeing it land. We had our janmies on and we hopped in the car with AJ's keys. I didn't have any ID on me or my cellphone, so no photos to document it, but it was amazing. We pulled up to watch it float only to then see it land. We jumped out of the car and watched them land it. I don't think they were planning on landing there but we saw them land and start to deflate the balloon. That is something that is on my bucket list- a hot air balloon ride.

Another cool highlight of our week is our quest for a Magnolia tree. AJ has been on the hunt and doing some research and decided the best to suit our criteria was a Magnolia Anne tree. Well, long and short, the employee at Al's Nursery had told AJ they were past their season so he would not be able to find one. Bummer. So we moved on and decided we could make do with a Magnolia Susan. We ran to Al's Nursery in Sunday and AJ was showing me the Susan's and they were huge! I then said, "What about that one?" pointing to one in the way back. AJ exclaimed, "It's a Magnolia Anne!" It was meant to be our tree. It is beautiful and we planted it in a huge pot so that if we ever move, we can still take it with us.

Our backyard with the blossoming dogwood, the blessing Magnolia, our chickens, green grass and raised bed makes me love our backyard. We acquired a new to us swing set and Maggie LOVES to swing! I am envisioning many fun afternoons spent out there as the weather gets more and more nice.

And one of the not so 'high'lights of our week was Maggie getting sick. Friday her nose started running again and she had a dry cough. I wasn't too worried but Saturday she sounded a little worse and we kept her home from church. She slept horribly on Saturday night. 12:30 and 2:30 she woke up. At 6:00 she was up for the day. It was too early. I was exhausted and she was taking short wheezy breaths. At 7:30am she went back down for a nap and slept till 10! She was exhausted. We had a bunch of errands to run and decided to watch how she was doing and decide if we should take her to our doctor's urgent care office. As the day progressed, she continued to wheeze and cry to what seemed an ear infection. We decided to take her in and I was glad we did.

Nothing too traumatic but she was wheezing so badly the doctor couldn't fully tell until they gave her a breathing treatment to help relax her airway. Once we did that, no more wheeze and she seemed so much better! The doctor sent us home with a prescription to continue the nebulizer with her at home (we did this same thing with Porter at about 10-11 months old). She also gave us a prescription for her ear if it continued to bother her which we haven't filled yet. All around, in just a day, huge improvement. She still has a rattle when she coughs and it's fully herself yet, but she was pounding the dinner tonight pretty hard, so she is close to her normal self.

It is so hard when your baby is sick but the end all was affirming of my motherly instincts. Maggie just couldn't let another cold season pass without something dramatic. Last year it was RSV with a bladder infection. Maggie knows how to go all out!

All the while that we having been dealing with Maggie, I have been fighting my own sore throat, and AJ has been fighting something as well. So yes, it has been a week, but here we go again and I can't wait to see all this week has to hold. :)

Nostalgic

I don't consider myself nostalgic. I do have a bunch of stuff that I can't seem to part with each time we move but it isn't for nostalgic reasons. I think I may use it again someday. Anyways, not the point of my post.

I had no problem letting my sister in law and my best friend borrow and use my baby clothes. I am done having kids and look forward to passing them to my sister someday but in the mean time, it makes me happy others are able to use them. We all know babies don't wear out their clothes in those first months of life and with doting grandparents, my children do justice in wearing all those clothes they had enough. I hung on to maybe one or two item, like the outfit Porter wore to his bris. But the rest, please use!

Where an I going with this?

Well, I have a sweatshirt and a fleece jacket my mother-in-law bought me the week we spent at Dornbecker's with Maggie. It was one of my requests that she happily fulfilled. I had some clothes but that week I needed something new. Something cheery and something pink to remember my sweet baby girl by. I felt huge (remember the valet guy at the ER thought I was in labor and offered me a wheelchair!), I felt ugly and I felt sad.

I am very nostalgic with those two items of clothing. Each time I wear them, I am reminded of the blessing God gave to me. I am reminded of my sweet baby and her fight for life. I am reminded how people near and far prayed and prayed and surrounded us in prayers. I am reminded how a simple gesture as a new item of clothing blessed me. I am reminded no matter what our offering may be, God can use it in ways we don't know.

I am a bit nostalgic, I guess.

Check out my friend&apos;s blog

A friend of mine emailed me and asked me, along with others, three things we wished we had been told before we had kids.

Here is the link: www.fullnest.net/2012/04/01/a-word-to-ya-motha/

Differences.

When Porter came in to our lives, I like a lot of other new moms, was a little scared. What if I don't know how to handle this? Or what if he is colicky? How will I survive with only a few hours sleep? Will he latch? How do you breastfeed? What on earth an I doing?

Little by little, you take each challenge on and day by day you grow a little more confidence and pretty soon, your child is walking and taking a long nap and sleeping through the night and you look up and realize, I did it! This little baby is turning in to a toddler and you suddenly realize you don't need 50 items in a gigantic diaper bag to leave the house. You can throw them in the car and off you go.

Well, about the time we made it to that place with Porter, I found out I was pregnant. And all those same thoughts and questions came back. I had Porter and his quirks as a baby figured put but what was number 2 going to be like? And how would number 1 handle it?

And just like I did with the first one, I took it one day at a time. It has had it challenges and we still are adjusting as we will be the rest of their lives, but I feel like I am really close to picking my head up and looking around and wondering where did my babies go?

Porter just turned 3 and wants to help with everything. We actually have conversations and he makes me laugh and I make him laugh. Maggie is a pistol as we have known all along after her birth. She is 14 1/2 months and really close to walking but knows full well what she wants. She is verbal, very verbal. And once she starts walking, my baby days are over. But that isn't what this post is all about. It's about how P and M are different.

I guess I was a little naive to think my kids would be similar in personality. But looking at my siblings and I, we are all very different. What was I thinking?

Porter is sweet and tender hearted. He gets hurt pretty easily but loves to snuggle. He is super active, loves sport and is very attached to his "bankie" (blanket).

Maggie on the other hand is a go getter. She loves to swing at you and hit. It is more of a love pat but she gets excited and whacks you a little too hard sometimes. She loves book and I often times find her in her room amongst the books she has pulled off her shelf. She wants to have and do everything Porter has or does but can't because she is 1 and he is 3. And she is attached to nothing.

Porter hated his carseat and we ended up turning him at 11 months. (shhhh...) Maggie is still rear facing and could care less.

Porter started crawling at 8 months, Maggie was 11. Porter walked at 14 and Maggie is almost there but may be 15 months.

Porter had very few words till he was 2 and Maggie has a bunch of words. She is also very demanding and knows how to sign all done and will do so if she doesn't want you to sing anymore or tickle her or read to her.

Porter had our undivided attention till he was 21 months. Maggie currently lives in Porter's shadow but if I had to predict, Maggie is going to be running the show with all the boys we hang out with.

We went to the beach this last week for Spring Break and the kid count was six to one, one being Maggie! She's gonna have to learn how to run with the big dogs to keep up!

It has been fun to see more and more of P and M's personalities come out. They are a lot of fun, super cute and keep me on my toes more than I ever wanted but I am blessed and thankful for both of them.

A little sweetness

Friday nights I always get a little nostalgic about the week. Days that went well, things that didn't go so well and moment during our week.

Here's a few highlights of this week's sweetness...

Taking Porter with me to our friends house to hang out and play while I did haircuts. They have 3 kids, lots of toys and a mini trampoline. He wasn't sure at first he wanted to go but ended up having a great time.

Snuggling on the couch with Porter and having him fall asleep in my arms. That hasn't happened in forever!

Coming home from work and walking in to our bedroom and seeing AJ made our bed this afternoon. That is sweetness for me!

AJ bringing me some lunch today on his half day furlough day. We sat and ate together and it was sweet.

I noticed the other day how long Maggie's hair is getting. Her curls are so cute and makes her that much sweeter!

Girl's Night at my house with two amazing friends and discussing life, kids and lots of laughter! Does a momma's soul good.

Starburst Jellybeans. Sweetness.

My coworker/friend went on vacation for 3 weeks. I was so happy she was back this week. It made my week that she was back!

Getting a hand me down swing set/play structure for our backyard. I can't wait for AJ to set it up. Our friends who gave it to us are upgrading and now we get too upgrade our slide to this! AJ recruited JJ to help take it down and move it. Such sweetness from all!

Hope you have a great weekend and find a little sweetness in all you do!

Happy Birthday, Magnolia Raine!

Happy Birthday, sweet baby of mine! We had fun celebrating you and your amazing first year of life. Thank you for all the ways you challenge me and inspire me. I look forward to all the new stages and moments we have together. I am thankful every day for you and the gift of life that was given to you.

Sacrifice

When AJ and I began the process of deciding things we wanted to do for our baby once they were born, one of the biggest things for me was breastfeeding. It is pretty amazing and also pretty overwhelming but here's a few things I sacrificed along the way.

So off I embark into this world of unknown after Porter is born. So many questions come up and you feel like you are a deer in the headlights many times as you are trying to get this smooshy bundle of newborn baby to latch and eat from you. They don't work too well with you in the beginning but they are pretty resourceful the hungrier they are! It is amazing what the survival instinct will do and they can snuggle right up, latch on and go to town.

Well, I knew that the blissful days of on-demand feeding were going to come to an end once I had to go back to work. I wasn't going to work full time, but three days a week, Porter would have to take a bottle. Thus, this is where the sacrifice came in. I had to pump. Oh, the dread and the drudgery. Breastfeeding every two hours and sometimes more often than that often made me feel like I was just a warm food source, but pumping is probably my least favorite thing in the world to do. But knowing how much AJ and I felt the value of breast milk for our baby while I was at work, I embarked on this journey. So for a year, I pumped at work, 3 days a week.

Fast forward to now. Maggie is 13 months old and I still nurse her as she likes. We definitely still have the morning and night feeds and before naps feeds. Sometimes she will nurse more when I am home but she always gets a bottle before her nap, thus I pump. Every day at 3pm when I am at work, I grab my phone and take a pump break. Oh, the glamorous life I live! Who knows how long this will continue? I don't see a reason to end as I am still producing and Maggie is still drinking it. I have pumped for 2 plus years! Who does that?

I guess when I sit down and think how long I have been nursing, pumping and had babies in diapers and still to go, I get a little excited for these stages to be done. But then again, that really will signal the end of babyhood for us. So for now, I am cherishing the moment with my Medela pump and 3 o'clock breaks at work. Ah, the sacrifice.

I may be back...

Well, here it is some time since my last post and I may be back. I have been doing a lot of thinking and processing about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. But one of the things I have been thinking about a lot is my blogs and what I want to do with them. What direction do I want to go? Do I want people to pin my posts? Do I want to just put pictures up of my kids and dog? Do I want to write and write and write about something in particular? Maybe I just want to become a tv show critic and blog about all my favorite shows.

Well, in all my processing, I can't say I have come up with any brillant, gonna-make-me a millionaire ideas. And I haven't decided I have to pick one direction. I sort of am going to keep it the same format. Sometimes, if I feel like it, I will post pictures. I know my mom likes to see the grandkids. And then other times, when I need a soap box to rant on, I'll rant. Other times, I just might list all the 1001 shows I watch and the other 275 I wish I had time to and you all will realize I spend way too much time watching TV and judge me. Oh well. We all have our things, right? I do work out and am in a book club and that is how I justify my TV watching!

The title of my blog I feel is pretty appropriate. It is truly just a peek in to our lives. Come on by anytime, you never know when I might surprise you with another post!